let’s face it. we all fail.
人人都有失敗，不如坦然面對。
as we go through life we have relationships that don’t work out, jobs that just aren’t right, exams that we flunk, initiatives that don’t succeed. the more new things we try the more failures we are likely to have. in fact, the only way to avoid failure is to do nothing new.
這一生，我們總會遇到糾纏不清的人際關係、不甚滿意的工作、未通過的考試，或者不曾實現的計畫。嘗試越多，挫折也越多。除非什麼都不乾，否則難免遭受打擊。
the important thing is how we deal with failure. it can be part of a downward slide in which lack of confidence reinforces feelings of inadequacy and incompetence. but experiencing failure can be a learning experience and an opportunity for a fresh start. a good way to begin this process is by asking yoruself some tough questions.
關鍵是我們如何面對失敗。人走下坡路，往往會自卑，感到無能為力。但失敗也是吸取教訓、重新開始的機會。要重新開始，最好認真思考下面幾個問題。
1、 what can i learn from this?
我從失敗中學到了什麼？
take responsibility for what went wrong. ok, so it was not all your fault – but some of it was. successful people don’t make excuses or blame others. they take ownership of the issues. be critical but constructive. try to look at the experience objectively. make a list of the key things that happened. analyze the list step-by-step and look for the learning points.
為所犯的錯承擔責任。的確，失敗並非完全你的錯，但你也確實在責難逃吧。成功的人從來不為失敗找藉口或抱怨他人，而是坦然承擔責任。所以，試著客觀看待挫折，列出清單，一步一步認真總結才好。
2、what could i have done differently?
如果重來一次會不會有不同的處理方式？
what other options did you have? what choices did you make? how could you have handled it differently? with the benefit of hindsight, what different steps would you have taken?
當初是否還有其他途徑？可否換一種方式處理？後見之明或許能讓你發現原來還有別的方法解決問題。
3、do i need to acquire or improve some skills?
我的能力是否亟待提高？
did the problem reveal some lack of skill on your part? how could you learn or improve those skills? perhaps there are books or courses or people you could turn to. make a self-development plan to acquire the skills and experiences you need.
挫折是否也代表你能力不足呢？該怎樣彌補？或許，你可以讀書、上課或向人請教。制定計畫，努力提高自己的能力吧。
4、who can i learn from?
我能向誰學習？
is there someone to whom you can turn to for advice? did a boss, colleague or a friend see what happened? if they are constructive and supportive then ask them for some feedback and guidance. most people do not ask for help because they believe it to be a sign of weakness rather than strength. it’s not. it shows that you are ready to learn and change. any good friend will be happy to help.
身邊有沒有可以求助的人？如果上司、同事或朋友能夠理解，你可以多徵求他們的意見。很多人都覺得求助意味著無能，真是大錯特錯。你開口求助，表示你渴望學習和改變，朋友當然會很樂意！